Session 5 · Ch 5 · Distance and delight (sexual integrity)
Distance and delight (sexual integrity)
What it means (summary)
Proverbs 5 warns that flattery and secrecy lead to ruin and calls you to keep clear distance from temptation’s door while cultivating rightful delight so desire is aimed, not merely restrained.
Scripture (KJV) with Explanation
Note: Always read these verses in your own Bible and ask the Holy Spirit for understanding. The summaries and explanations here are a supplemental guide and are generated with the help of technology; please weigh them against Scripture itself and wise counsel.
Proverbs 5:3–5
“For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil:
But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a twoedged sword.
Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.”
Explanation: Temptation begins sweet and smooth, but its end is bitter and destructive.
Proverbs 5:8
“Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house:”
Explanation: Wisdom requires distance; do not approach the door where temptation begins.
Proverbs 5:9–11
“Lest thou give thine honour unto others, and thy years unto the cruel:
Lest strangers be filled with thy wealth; and thy labours be in the house of a stranger;
And thou mourn at the last, when thy flesh and thy body are consumed,”
Explanation: Compromise costs honour, labour, and peace; the aftermath is grief.
Proverbs 5:15, 18–19
“Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. …
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times;
and be thou ravished always with her love.”
Explanation: The positive path is rightful delight—rejoicing in what is lawfully yours.
Bridge (Scripture → Practice)
Because wisdom protects by not going near the door and strengthens by rightful delight, today you will pair a clear door boundary with a scheduled wholesome joy—avoid and pursue together.
Application (practice)
- Distance: identify one “door” (route, channel, context, or time window) that you will not approach today.
- Delight: schedule one rightful joy—a lawful, wholesome, and life-giving practice—so desire is aimed toward the good.
Action (SMART)
Before 6:00 p.m., (1) keep one door boundary once, and (2) schedule one rightful delight this week.
Examples:
- “No private DMs after 9:30 p.m.; keep conversations public.”
- “Avoid that colleague’s hallway today; take the long route.”
- “Leave phone in another room after 10 p.m. and do an evening walk or reading instead.”
- Schedule 30 minutes of phone-free time with a spouse/fiancé, or with a friend, gym session, a walk + Psalm, or a call with family.
WIIFM
- Today: fewer close calls, less rumination, and more settled joy.
- Habit you’re training: avoid + pursue at desire thresholds (a boundary and a wholesome aim).
- Future you: faithfulness with less effort and a growing appetite for what truly gives life.
- Roll-up: Relationships (R) integrity; supports peace and repair skills over time.
- Tags: R, FR, TH.
Comparative Reinforcement
Aristotle explains that temperance is not only saying “no,” but training desire to love the right goods in the right way; pairing a boundary with a wholesome aim forms stable character.
Right Intention teaches that restraint without a positive aim rebounds; scheduling rightful joy provides a healthy pull toward the good and prevents relapse.
Socratic reflection helps you name the “sweet now, bitter later” story so you can choose the truly good end rather than the quick thrill.
Evening Check
Door boundary kept? Y/N · Rightful delight scheduled? Y/N · Peace → 0 / 1 / 2