Session 25 • Proverbs 25
Humility & Speech — Theme 5: Honour
Proverbs 25 ties humility before authority, the weight of timely words, and the power of controlled responses. Honour is not grabbed; it is given. Wise speech can soothe, persuade, and even disarm an enemy.
Scripture should always be read first in your own Bible, with prayer and dependence on the Holy Spirit for understanding. North & Narrow’s notes are created with the help of technology and reflect a fallible, interpretive layer. Use this program as a supplemental guide, not a replacement for Scripture itself.
What today is about
Proverbs 25 shows how humility, restraint, and well-timed words protect honour. It warns against pushing yourself forward, urges you to speak with care, and calls you to answer even enemies with surprising generosity. Self-control is pictured as a city with walls intact.
- Honour is received, not seized, especially before those in authority.
- Fitly spoken words can refresh, persuade, and carry great weight.
- True strength is seen in ruling your spirit, not in winning quarrels.
Section 1 — Humility Before the King (vv. 6–7)
Proverbs 25:6–7 (KJV)
Proverbs 25:6–7 Put not forth thyself in the presence of the king, and stand not in the place of great men: For better it is that it be said unto thee, Come up hither; than that thou shouldest be put lower in the presence of the prince whom thine eyes have seen.
Explanation (vv.6–7): The picture is of a court where rank and honour are visible. Wisdom says: do not promote yourself or assume a higher place. It is far better to be invited up than publicly sent down. Humility protects you from embarrassment and aligns with the truth that honour is granted, not grabbed.
Section 2 — Fitting Words & Patient Persuasion (vv. 11–12, 15, 25)
Proverbs 25:11–12, 15, 25 (KJV)
Proverbs 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
Explanation (v.11): A timely, appropriate word is both beautiful and valuable. It fits the moment the way fine work fits a crafted setting. Wisdom cares not only what is said, but when and how it is spoken.
Proverbs 25:12 As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, so is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear.
Explanation (v.12): Correction, when offered wisely and received humbly, becomes an adornment. The one who listens to reproof is not shamed but beautified by the wisdom they accept.
Proverbs 25:15 By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone.
Explanation (v.15): Patient endurance and gentle, steady words can move even those in power. “Soft” here is not weakness; it is controlled strength that outlasts resistance.
Proverbs 25:25 As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country.
Explanation (v.25): Words can refresh as tangibly as water. Bringing accurate, hopeful news is an act of kindness, especially to those who have been waiting long.
Section 3 — Enemies, Generosity & Ruled Spirit (vv. 21–22, 28)
Proverbs 25:21–22, 28 (KJV)
Proverbs 25:21–22 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink: For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.
Explanation (vv.21–22): Instead of revenge, wisdom teaches active kindness toward an enemy. “Coals of fire” likely picture awakened conscience and shame that may lead to repentance. God Himself sees and rewards this surprising mercy.
Proverbs 25:28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
Explanation (v.28): A person without self-control is exposed and vulnerable, like a city without defenses. Strong feelings and sharp words may feel powerful, but without restraint they leave life open to repeated damage.
Recap — Proverbs 25 (Key threads)
- Do not push yourself forward; let honour come from others, not self-promotion (vv.6–7).
- Well-timed words and wise correction can adorn relationships like fine gold (vv.11–12).
- Gentle, patient speech can persuade even strong resistance (v.15).
- Kindness toward enemies reflects trust in God’s justice and reward (vv.21–22).
- True strength is ruling your spirit, not venting it (v.28).
Today’s practice — Honour through humility & measured words
Aim: Walk in humble posture and controlled speech, especially where honour and reputation are at stake. This session supports the Relationships • Silver (gentle answer, no “clap-back”) and Speech • Wood/Silver medallions.
Quick — Today (5–10 minutes)
- Before one key interaction today (meeting, call, difficult conversation), pause and pray: “Lord, let my words be fitly spoken, not rushed.”
- Choose one sentence of honour or encouragement to offer, instead of subtly promoting yourself.
- If provoked, practice a “soft tongue”: lower your volume, slow your pace, and answer once instead of arguing.
Medium — 7 days (“No Self-Push, No Clap-Back”)
- For one week, track two things: (1) moments you are tempted to talk about yourself to gain position, and (2) moments you want the last word.
- Each time, quietly choose the opposite: let others speak first, and let one comment stand without a comeback.
- At the end of the week, write 5–7 lines on how this shifted the tone of your conversations and how people responded.
Deep — 30 days (“Rule Your Spirit”)
- Identify one recurring setting where your spirit easily runs ahead of wisdom (online comments, family tension, work pressure, etc.).
- For 30 days, create a simple rule: for example, “I will wait 10 minutes before responding to anything that spikes my emotions.”
- Keep a one-line daily log: “What I wanted to say/do was… What I actually chose was…”
- At the end of the month, name one concrete way your “city walls” (self-control) have been strengthened.
Comparative lenses — Other wisdom echoes
Aristotle — Honour, Gentleness & the Mean
Aristotle’s virtue of megalopsychia (right sense of honour) and his praise of mildness sit close to Proverbs 25. Pushing yourself forward is an excess; refusing any responsibility is a deficiency. Humble confidence and restrained anger form the virtuous “middle.”
Confucius — Propriety in the Court
Confucius stresses behaving with proper respect in the presence of rulers and elders. Standing in the right place, speaking with restraint, and accepting correction all resonate with Proverbs 25’s warnings about the king’s presence and wise rebuke.
Socrates — Examining Motives for Honour
Socrates would ask not only what you say, but why. Proverbs 25 presses similar questions: Am I seeking honour from people or living before God? Are my words meant to serve truth and others, or to secure advantage for myself?
Buddha — Right Speech & Non-Retaliation
In Buddhist teaching, Right Speech includes avoiding harsh, divisive, or idle words, and responding without retaliation. While the foundation differs from Scripture, there is overlap with Proverbs 25’s call to gentle persuasion, kindness to enemies, and ruling one’s spirit instead of striking back.
Closing prayer (optional)
Lord, thank You for showing that honour comes from You, not from self-promotion. Teach me to take the lower place, to speak words that fit the moment, and to answer even enemies with wisdom and kindness. Strengthen my self-control so my spirit is ruled, not ruling me. In Jesus’ name, amen.